this is zz eating his dinner.




and it looks like he's not very happy about us visiting him.
hahahhahaha.
think he's bearing the pain while having to entertain us,
and he's not the expressive kind.



let's all keep him in prayer! =)
our dear dear dear brother.


----------UPDATES------------
zz will be discharged later today! thank God!
let's continue to keep him in prayer for a full recovery! =)

發現到了嗎?





是無名的也



真的沒為甚麼
捧捧場啦 =)

p.o.l.a.r.o.i.d . f.e.v.e.r






may i digress.
statistics show that there is one millionaire out of every 10 singaporeans.
and by biological probability 50% of all population is male.
so, the possibility that i marry a millionaire is 5%. (SO TINY!)
also, the possibility of me becoming a millionaire is 5%.
hence, the possibility of me being rich in the future
= 5% + 5% + (5%*95% + 5%*95%) = 10.095%.



so what's the point here?
i wanna be rich? NO.
i wanna marry a rich husband? NO.
i love maths?! NOO.


i'm just bored.

i got woken up at 8am today.
when my mum and bro realised they couldn't open the door to my room.
they screamed and shouted for me to try open the door.
the lock's jammed.


argh.
i climbed back unto my bed and sleep.


*konk konk konk*
some man hammered open my door.
mum and man rattles on. $40.



i continue sleeping.
my door has no door-knob.



so what is the main point in this entry?

i don't care. i want to sleep.

i'm not anti-social.
i'm not depressed.


we all need some time alone once in a while.



and i love my laptop. my latte. and my double choc muff.




learning english is getting interesting.
this is the roti prata rhyme.





which reminds me.
debate gathering's this sat night. wooh.
i gotta start getting accustomed to speaking in english again.
and it's potluck. feel like baking something.
yippee.

探班记


因为阿霞最近忙着拍戏。
所以我们以表支持，就去探班咯！
=） 够朋友吧！



左：dxx之友情客串。右：女主角samantha与阿霞。









ching-chong chinese versus Chanel.



落叶。


之后和joycee, dxx逛了一点街。



--完--

the last time i took neo-print was early last year, with qiaoping, christine and yi-shyan. i think i was 19 then. it seemed so long ago, but IT'S NOT. REALLY.


because we had no money to sing k. so in an attempt to make our day fruitful, we went to take NEO-PRINTS. we being me, joycee and dxx. I didn't know it can be so tiring. We spent about an hour plus! Gosh.


Okay, here's the fruit of our labour.




notice our lil bumblebee faces. LOL.


this is so primary school lah. can't stand it.

小时候，老师总爱问我们，

你们的志愿什么？



我小时候的志愿，是做个芭蕾老师。
每个周末，带着一班班的小朋友，
教他们跳舞、教他们音乐、教他们恒心、教他们努力表演换来台下掌声时的满足感。




但自己却被自己的任性打败。最终，还是半途而废。
那小时候的愿望，变得好遥远，好遥远。

阿拓。
曾教过我一件事。


阿拓说他本来就不习惯跟别人吵架，因为吵架根本就没有必要，虽然跟我在一起的确也没有什么好发脾气的。

“怎么说？”我问，咬着烤鱿鱼。
“从很小的时候就我习惯用十年后的自己来看当下，所以很多事其实都不在乎，例如店员找错钱给我或是服务生送错了菜这种小事，十年后的我根本就不在意，所以现在的我何必要生气呢？浪费时间也浪费精神啊。”



取自《等一个人咖啡》，九把刀。



所以呢。其实我对很多事情也都不是很在乎。Because when we grow old, these things that we once hold so dearly, they'll all fade away. And we'll tease one another about it. Remember those days? It's only those things that will last forever, those are the things worthy of our attention.

aye. today is a not-very-good day for me.

I woke up with serious migraine. It's like someone trying to hammer my head off my neck.


So, I (woke up, pop panadols, and slept) X3.



Then went to have steamboat at marina south. *though i hesitated* Was glad i went. =)
Okay, I guess you guys aren't very interested in knowing what happened to ME.
FINE. Here's the answers. LOL.



That question I've posted in my previous post...

If you chose option ONE: RED SQUARE
You are one person who DARES TO ASK QUESTIONS.
Like WANSIA. KEEP ASKING ME FOR ANSWERS. ARGH, and dxx.

If you chose option TWO: BLUE TRIANGLE
You are one FRIENDLY AND HARMONIOUS person.
Like ME, wen, wayne, and shuyi. =)

If you chose option THREE: LIME GREEN LETTER "A"
You are DILIGENT AND HARDWORKING.
Like EDWIN. *HUH?* O.O
just kidding lah.

If you chose option FOUR: BLACK CIRCLE
You are OBSESSED WITH THE OPPOSITE GENDER.
Like... =X HAHA. shan't mention names. =X



LOL. Hmmm. So is this tiny quiz accurate? I shan't rattle on and bore you with my theory on it. =) It's just for fun!

Nothing much to blog about.
Life's pretty plain recently.


Was reading through my past.past.blog, and was reminded of a small personality test given during jc by some external trainers whatever.


So. Given the following four choices, which would you choose? =)
1. Red square.
2. Blue triangle.
3. Lime green letter "A".
4. Black circle.


Aye. Which would you choose?
Please leave a comment or tagg ------->>
to let me know what you chose aye?
=D Answers to be revealed soon.


Lalalalalalalalala~

.ONE.
because i regard you as a friend, and because i know you'd read my blog
*臭美*.
getting the award's just a bonus.
spread love. music. that's all.
aye. feels really weird saying these kinda eew.


.TWO.
boy, it's been some time.
since i last sat down in a cafe. drink my latte. eat my cheesecake. read my novel.
since i last went to the gym. exercise.
since i last visited the library.
since i last went SHOPPING.
gosh. i miss my latte.


.THREE.
i just watched Beauty and the Geek on Ch 5. Season THREE.
and i have to say that NIELS HOVEN is SO CUTE.
yuck i sound bimbotic.
but he IS cute. AFTER his makeover.


his eyes electrocute you, whichever way you look at them.
well, he got a perfect SAT score. erm, no link.



boy i miss having eye-candies around.

r.a.n.d.o.m.

Your Personality is Very Rare (INFP)

Your personality type is dreamy, romantic, elegant, and expressive. Only about 5% of all people have your personality, including 6% of all women and 4% of all men You are Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

取自《轉角遇到愛》
這真是"好美的一首詩"

heart: advertisements.

f a l l i n g . s i c k



shivering coldness.
pierces through the s k i n.
f l e s h.
into the b o n e s.




wish i could run through the woods. feel the wind against my skin.

some of you have seen my pig.
and i figure some of the some of you might be suffering from a heartache.
because you miss my pig so.



hence.
something to ease you of your misery.


eeks. it's so pink.



good night.

an unexpected valentine.




do you live your life based on a speedometer or a compass?

hello.

today was the first session of alpha.



we've already broken up
what else do you want?
you weren't even there when i needed you
just take it that i've let you down
let's go



aye.
thank you for trusting in me enough to give me this role.
thank you for bearing with me throughout the whole rehearsal.
seriously, i was quite nervous. kept telling sl that.
and i lack confidence in myself.
i never acted at such a level before.
kept praying.
thank God He pulled me through.
=)



STOP FIGHTING!

Nothing much to post about for today.


This was taken from The Straits Times, Monday, June 11 2007.

"The dark secret families prefer to forget"


UNWANTED: IMH does its best to trace family members of "unknowns", but sometimes, even when the next of kin are found, these long-staying patients still do not get visitors.


I'm sorry.
For posting such depressing entries on my blog.
I need an outlet. For all these things I see.
It's not about turning a blind eye to such things. But to bring them to light. Exposing them such that the public are aware of them. *Do I sound like a journalist?*


About that fear I talked about some posts ago, I thought about it. And in conclusion, I came to thank God for this spiritual family He has placed me in.


They say blood is thicker than water.
We say spirit is thicker than blood.

In an attempt to make my day fruitful, I watched Spider Lilies and Ocean's Thirteen. While Ocean's watched in the cinema with yz and jiankai, Spider's watched on youtube, free.


《刺青》 Spider Lilies.

Another taiwanese R21 film concerning homosexuality. What does it show?

Synopsis:
The golden flower is native to the northeastern coast of Taiwan. Local people call it the spider lily. Japanese legend has it that spider lilies line the path to hell, poisoning the memories of all who smell their scent, forming a bridge between the living and the dead.



Tattoo artist Takeko keeps a framed design of the spider lily flower on the wall of her parlor. The design was literally cut from the flesh of her father, after he was crushed to death in an earthquake. The image of the spider lily tattoo is the last cohesive memory of Takeko's traumatized brother, Ching, who is no longer able to recognize anyone, including his sister. Takeko has the same tattoo of the poisonous flower on her body in the hope of helping Ching remember and bridging the gap between them.



Webcam girl Jade visits Takeko's tattoo parlor, looking for sexy decoration to excite her clientele. Entranced by the tattoo of the spider lily on the wall, Jade gives Takeko her business card and invites her to visit her on her website where she professes her love for the tattoo artist. Finally, Jade asks Takeko to give her the same spider lily tattoo to bring her closer to the object of her desire.




My views of this film. The plot is pretty good, and the roundabout way of shooting creates suspense revolving Takeko. But the acting is average, and there isn't much climax in the storyline besides the bed scene. Which is typical of most sensual films. But it draws the audience away from the crux of the story, which is what the director wants to bring across through the film.


Ratings: 6.5/10


Ocean's Thirteen.



I didn't catch Ocean's Eleven, nor did i watch Ocean's Twelve. I felt that they weren't my type of movies. Two reasons why i watched Ocean's Thirteen. One that yz and jiankai asked me. Second because i got two coupons for the movie (which i din use in the end).

Synopsis:
What are the odds of getting even? Danny Ocean and the gang would have only one reason to pull off their most ambitious and riskiest casino heist--to defend one of their own. But they’re going to need more than luck on their side to break The Bank.Ruthless casino owner Willy Bank never imagined that the odds were against him when he double-crossed Danny Ocean’s friend and mentor Reuben Tishkoff, putting the distraught Reuben in a hospital bed in critical condition. But Bank miscalculated--badly. He may have taken down one of the original Ocean’s eleven, but he left the others standing and, worse for him, gave them a shared purpose: to take Bank down on the night of what should be his greatest triumph--the grand opening of his new casino, appropriately named The Bank.



Their strategy is twofold. First they will ruin him financially by turning the tables on the precept that the house always wins. But that’s just money. The knockout punch will be to Bank’s personal pride and joy: his reputation as the only hotelier who has earned the Royal Review Board’s Five Diamond Award on every single one of his hotels. The plan is elaborate, dangerous and damn near impossible--but there are no limits when it comes to one of their own.




My views of this film. Clever plot accompanied with stunning visuals. Subtle humour and good acting. What's there to pick on? I have only two complaints. One being that (because the tickets were selling out fast and we end up sitting at the 2nd row) showing multiple scences simultaenously makes viewing tough. I had to look left and right to get the whole picture. Secondly, the second part of the film is basically a repeat of the first part. Reason being the first part is the planning and the second part is the execution of the plan. Although there's nothing wrong with that, i just felt that the plot could be expanded even more.


Ratings: 9/10 *applaud*

Decided to start blogging more in english.
Because i'll be doing mainly media and english modules for year 3.
I guess cong, yz and my other english readers should be happy. =)



Have been slightly down since i came back from chalet.
It's got nothing to do with the chalet.
I just don't feel like talking much to anyone.
Maybe it's pms. haha.


Had a dream this afternoon.
And it sort of explained why i'm feeling this way.


In my dream, i was in the train.
And in the same carriage were some of my friends.
But strangely, i wasn't with them.
For some reasons, i was avoiding them and they didn't call out to me either.
But we were aware of one another's presence.

I didn't like that feeling.
So after a while i went over to sit with them.
They didn't say anything.
As if they didn't know that i was avoiding them.
And i didn't like that feeling either.



Weird dream. As dreams should be.


I woke up in shock. Like after a nightmare.
And somehow, i woke up knowing why i dreamt what i dreamt.


I was reminded of what sia said.
About being afraid to commit because of the fear of losing it.
And i was reminded of my train analogy.

I guess it's true of me.
That i'm afraid of opening up my life to others because i'm afraid they'll leave me eventually.


But life's like taking a train ride.
We all have different destinations.
Along the way, some people board the train, and some others alight.
People come and people go.
And we all change along the way.
It's ridiculous to expect others to be there for us for life.
Who are we to bind them to ourselves?


It's just life.
Yet it's not that we should stay aloof.
But that we got to accept it when people alight the train.
Be brave.


So that my lesson for today.
A reminder.
Something i have to learn and re-learn for life.

照片啦。

这次的chalet，原本plan了的许多东西结果都没实现。像阿霞的粉丝同乐会啊、睡衣排队啊。不过整体来说还okay啦。就是有认识到更多人啊，也发生了许多趣事啦。

第一天蛮无聊的。因为来的人挺少的，然后也没节目。结果大家就在一起喝酒然后写coupons。阿霞给了我们一人一个信封，上面写了我们的名字。让我们写字条给彼此，些什么都行，偷偷地写，给对方个惊喜。晚上没做什么却又累得没搭帐篷。然后早上起来也错过了日出。唉。


我们是酒鬼。


看别人家晒内裤。


戴上麦当当的shrek headband。


无聊。所以玩起猜拳。

第二天早上我们骑脚车去了。看猴子。之后就等啊等啊，等bbq的到来。然后人也陆陆续续的来了。然后送货的人送错货，和之后的一连串相关事物，就别提了。烧烤啊烧烤，之后就抽奖，送出了曹格和阿霞的签名照、签名单曲、手机吊带、签名海报、T-恤 等物件。其中最抢手的当然是阿霞的签名照啦！哈哈。本人呢，不幸地抽中了曹格的签名海报。不幸的原因是因为我已经有那个海报了呀。所以把海报送给了坐我旁边的suyati。她也算是赚到了吧。哈。


看日出。


看日出2。


不愧是会长。


虽然你会便秘……


不过我们还是爱我们的会长的。我们不会忘记你的。


连gary也来帮我们烤肉。


合照。

就这样。三天两夜就过了。没有不舍得是骗人的。不要忘记我。也不要讨厌我。掰掰。

虽然不是S.H.E的歌迷，但是读到一半也会有想哭的感觉。

—————————————————————————————
發言人：Ella發言時間：2007-06-05 19:58:29

薔薔一帶回家就生病了
他能活到現在真的是奇蹟
很感謝醫生延長了她留在我身邊的時間

薔薔是因為內分泌一直影響她
所以醫生建議讓他開刀切除三分之一的卵巢子宮
之前他有過兩次開刀的經驗
都還算順利
但這一次
連醫生都覺得很玄
千萬分之一的機會
竟然讓我們遇到
只能說她的時間到了
她為我承受的苦也夠多了
是時候讓她好好休息了
現在的她在菩薩身邊做小天使
呵護著每個她愛的人
大家收起悲傷
跟我一起祝福她
我告訴我自己
為她留下的眼淚到昨天為止
如果一直哭
她會離不開
因為她愛我的程度一定會為我留下來舔乾我的眼淚
但是我不要她再為我做什麼了
我只要她好好的做她的天使就夠了
跟我一起收起眼淚 為她祝福吧
謝謝大家
我會好好的
別為我擔心喔
—————————————————————————————

让我也想起了我以前的狗。唉。




j`esse=j`essie=jie`xi=曹格`石：OKAY LAH
j`esse=j`essie=jie`xi=曹格`石：i'm a lousy fren. haha.
dumbooooooooo：ya!
j`esse=j`essie=jie`xi=曹格`石：haha
j`esse=j`essie=jie`xi=曹格`石：i noe lah. dun need to emphasize. thank you.


seriously i really think i'm a lousy friend. for one, i don't bother to remember birthdates. for that, i don't expect others to remember mine too. also, i'm self-centered aka selfish. i don't bother to talk or explain myself when i don't feel like it. but i also don't expect others to understand me. AND i'm always late. OKAY. i'm a lousy friend. but i don't feel like changing. which makes me a even lousier friend. great. i'm babbling rubbish already. thank you for reading my rubbish. i shall listen to lullaby and go to sleep. good night.

random youtubes


someone sing me to sleep. lah.


because many people i know havent seen this yet. whatever ad.


same as above. anything ad.


local flavour.


to end off on a lighter note. ;p

也有不想说话的时候。
知道吗？

back.

couldn't go service cuz of some last min hiccups. =(
den they asked me whether i feel guilty or not.
for not going church this week.
haha. that maybe God will be displeased with me.
haha.


erm. actually, dun need to feel guilty one.
cuz it's not about going church every week.
but a relationship with God.
and wanting to fellowship.



christo's not about a set of rules and regulations.
not ONLY about going to a place for 2 hours every week.
understand?
hahaha.



mum just stir-fried some 猪肠粉 (chee jiong fun) for supper.
stir-fried eh. i only see before steamed ones. lol.
okay, talking rubbish le. good night. will update more when i've sorted out the pics.

因为chalet里有wireless。
夸张吧。



觉得啊，
世上那么多人，
两个人能互相喜欢并且在一起
时间很难得的事。

而且，有几段初恋能够这么长久？


两个人在一起，信任很重要。
连续剧是这么说的。


学得信任吧。

tired. gee.

OH YA.



WILL BE AWAY. FOR XXX CHALET.

HAHHAHHAHHA.

will you miss me? *smiles widely*

haha. okay lah. later kena shoot buey hiao bai again. lol. bye bye lah~!

it's here.

YES, it's HERE.


*screams* IT'S HERE~!!!



okay, you get the idea.
even my flying pig's geared up for it.


and from the deepest recesses of its heart it screams out "OINK" for the love of it, despite the hindrance fact that it lacks a speaking device--mouth.



YAY. lalalallallalalalla~.
can't wait for tml.
can you?

自从上一篇什么的
就觉得很不自在
想上载些什么来盖过去
*熟悉的感觉*



我和霞
（她的痣经得起photoshop的迫害）


我和dxx和joycee
（看我和joycee的gfc T-恤中的曹格是面对面的）


两张照片。两种不一样的感觉。
不过我都喜欢。哈哈。很芝士。


然后今天去唱k时，唱了《小情歌》。失败。
不服气啦。下次去唱k一定要把它练好。哈哈。

说真的
有一段时间
我非常的恨你们


为什么把我生下来后
却没尽好自己的本分？


回忆中
自己的童年总是孤孤单单一个人的过
小学放学后就自己一人回家
回到家就面对着四面墙．电视机．狗
煮泡面．炒菜．自己吃
很多时候，你们还没到家我就睡了
隔天早上，我有自己一人起床上学
没机会见到你们，更别说聊天


长大后
家里经济环境越来越糟
家是一直搬一直搬的说
进大学也得贷款
欠下的一大笔债，不知得工作几年才还得了
总是羡慕身旁的朋友
父母不是有储蓄，就是有公积金
不但不需贷款，还能买车．出国度假


所以哥哥很疼我
因为我经历过的，他都经历过
他就像我的爸爸似
贷款时做我的保证人．不回家时得跟他说
跟爸妈顶嘴时，他也会骂我
以后他进大学，我也想做他的保证人
说真的，我很庆幸自己还有个哥哥


因为自己的家庭背景
成就了我将来对自己所建立的家庭的期望
因为所谓建立一个家
不单单是造人而已


有几个家庭能说是幸福美满的呢？
虽然爸妈没离婚，也没欠高利贷钱
不过我们却和陌生人没两样


现在呢
虽然已经不再恨你们了
但也说不上爱
想要这家庭亲近些
又该从何做起呢？
看见自己的父母亲一天一天地老去
心是痛的





读了这篇后
如果还能的话
请对造你的那两个人
说声我爱你

再次让时间倒流，回到6月2日星期六。


那天是个特别的日子。
因为那天eelee飞去chile。
嘻。不止呢。
而且还是咱们yi-shyan的二十一岁生日。
大人咯，可以看R21电影了。哈哈！


我们在service后帮她准备了个小庆祝。
因为我们真得很珍惜她这个朋友、这个sister。



玩游戏时，jeekai输了，所以得接受forfeit。
而forfeit呢，就是被yi-shyan打扮一番。
看他翻身成为韩国某位大明星也！




之后呢，大家到了indochine·wisma atria。
yi-shyan的朋友kwan zheng和ian也来了。


合照。

叫了个bailey's milkshake。但觉得那bailey's不够强。
还记得某天eilton买了瓶bailey's，让我尝了尝一点。
那感觉就像是穿上了新娘妆在天空中飞翔似。哈哈。
总之是毕生难忘啊。


上左：shyan+kwan，上右：liveband，下左：bailey's milkshake，下右：xinying+me。


谈笑聊。不知不觉地就错过了最后一趟巴士。
所以呢，我，shyan，yizhong和ian在edwin家过夜。
这次在edwin家过夜后，也不知得等到何时才有下一次。
因为大家都没带更换的衣服，所以和edwin借了几件衣服。
跟你说哦，我们的dress sense是超赞的啦！哈哈！
因为本人还算是心地善良，所以决定不上载那些照片。哈哈。
当本人的私藏吧！嘻。


想说的是：Yi-shyan，二十一岁生日快乐！！！ =）

SCREAM Party Part II

因为MyPaper网站上上载了很多照片，所以。



酒鬼曹来买酒。哈哈。


喷火表演。就在观众面前，很近很近，还可以感觉到很强的热气。


本地某团体。觉得主唱蛮酷的。哈哈。
比起阿霞喜欢的beatboxer，我比较喜欢这个。

那晚我是超high的，而且又站在台前的中间。
找到了几张自己超没形象的照片。



苏打绿。


青峰+小威。
小威是超搞笑的啦。joycee说她想拍的是青峰。哈哈。
-joycee提供-


最喜欢的一张。曹大爷也。