Decided to start blogging more in english.
Because i'll be doing mainly media and english modules for year 3.
I guess cong, yz and my other english readers should be happy. =)



Have been slightly down since i came back from chalet.
It's got nothing to do with the chalet.
I just don't feel like talking much to anyone.
Maybe it's pms. haha.


Had a dream this afternoon.
And it sort of explained why i'm feeling this way.


In my dream, i was in the train.
And in the same carriage were some of my friends.
But strangely, i wasn't with them.
For some reasons, i was avoiding them and they didn't call out to me either.
But we were aware of one another's presence.

I didn't like that feeling.
So after a while i went over to sit with them.
They didn't say anything.
As if they didn't know that i was avoiding them.
And i didn't like that feeling either.



Weird dream. As dreams should be.


I woke up in shock. Like after a nightmare.
And somehow, i woke up knowing why i dreamt what i dreamt.


I was reminded of what sia said.
About being afraid to commit because of the fear of losing it.
And i was reminded of my train analogy.

I guess it's true of me.
That i'm afraid of opening up my life to others because i'm afraid they'll leave me eventually.


But life's like taking a train ride.
We all have different destinations.
Along the way, some people board the train, and some others alight.
People come and people go.
And we all change along the way.
It's ridiculous to expect others to be there for us for life.
Who are we to bind them to ourselves?


It's just life.
Yet it's not that we should stay aloof.
But that we got to accept it when people alight the train.
Be brave.


So that my lesson for today.
A reminder.
Something i have to learn and re-learn for life.