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星期三, 六月 06, 2007

说真的
有一段时间
我非常的恨你们


为什么把我生下来后
却没尽好自己的本分?


回忆中
自己的童年总是孤孤单单一个人的过
小学放学后就自己一人回家
回到家就面对着四面墙.电视机.狗
煮泡面.炒菜.自己吃
很多时候,你们还没到家我就睡了
隔天早上,我有自己一人起床上学
没机会见到你们,更别说聊天


长大后
家里经济环境越来越糟
家是一直搬一直搬的说
进大学也得贷款
欠下的一大笔债,不知得工作几年才还得了
总是羡慕身旁的朋友
父母不是有储蓄,就是有公积金
不但不需贷款,还能买车.出国度假


所以哥哥很疼我
因为我经历过的,他都经历过
他就像我的爸爸似
贷款时做我的保证人.不回家时得跟他说
跟爸妈顶嘴时,他也会骂我
以后他进大学,我也想做他的保证人
说真的,我很庆幸自己还有个哥哥


因为自己的家庭背景
成就了我将来对自己所建立的家庭的期望
因为所谓建立一个家
不单单是造人而已


有几个家庭能说是幸福美满的呢?
虽然爸妈没离婚,也没欠高利贷钱
不过我们却和陌生人没两样


现在呢
虽然已经不再恨你们了
但也说不上爱
想要这家庭亲近些
又该从何做起呢?
看见自己的父母亲一天一天地老去
心是痛的





读了这篇后
如果还能的话
请对造你的那两个人
说声我爱你

8 条评论:

Anonymous 匿名 说...

Didnt know that a cheerful outlook you always imposed has been feeling so down at home. A lot of teenagers without much parental guidance will lead astray, but u did not and even make it to the university. This shows that u have very strong will and good character. I admit u been so strong and honest and brave in mentioning this in ur blog. Lastly, Jiayou. You still have friends and brother with u.

Only_fools_rush_in

1:59 下午  
Blogger me-myself-i 说...

说实在的
我不是为了搏人同情
或什么之类的
因为知道其实自己算是幸福的了
还有很多人比我惨
只是想说如果你有一对爱你的父母
请好好珍惜他们,懂得知足。

3:01 下午  
Anonymous 匿名 说...

hmm.. and i always wonder why of everyone in the caregroup, i know the least about your family.. is that why you don't talk about them often? i empathize with you to a certain extent ba.. for a period of time, hated my own family.. 2 brothers and parents are forever quarreling with each other.. they fought once before.. literally.. result: fractured arm for dad and a deep (life-long?)animosity between parent and child?

just felt like sharing after reading your post.. every family has their own bu4 ke3 nian4 de4 jing1.. so take heart that you are not alone! i would be envious of your r/s with your older bro.. my older bro used to be very protective of me but now i duno him at all..

so yeah, don't dwell on what you may not have as compared to others, but cherish what you have! =]

4:06 下午  
Blogger me-myself-i 说...

=) thanks shyan!

4:35 下午  
Anonymous 匿名 说...

每个家庭都有不为人知的一面吧
重要的是你并没有因此而自暴自弃或什么的
我想,你哥扮演很重要的角色吧

父母永远都是父母,
既然分不开
又何必执着是是非非?

~珍惜~

10:07 下午  
Anonymous 匿名 说...

嘿。
好酒不见
有看到吗?

自从上回和你聚酒唱谈后就没在见了。
。。。hmmm 。。。
喔。酒应该就是上回就喝完了吧
难怪找不到。

好有启发的目录/日记。
起码我有点被激发。

好了。
下回在闲聊。

p.s.( 未言的附言): 请在service的时后把手机的声量关掉。哈哈

1:25 上午  
Anonymous 匿名 说...

Most of the things i wanted to say have been said liao...

This post made me reflect upon my own life, my family, my role as a brother to my younger sis and also I am able to know u better too.

I am so glad that we know a loving God and He is always there with us even though we may not realise it.

During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only 1 set of footprints, it was then that He carried you.

But i hope when He is carrying you, footprints of the brothers and sisters will be there with you too.

cya 15 hrs later during Cg. =]

3:58 上午  
Anonymous 匿名 说...

Jesse, thanks for choosing to share and helping me know you better. *hug*

Our sad pasts, makes God's love all the more sweeter, knowing in Him we are complete. :)

11:39 上午  

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